The necktie is probably one of the most pointless articles
of clothing ever invented.
Historically speaking, the tie emanated from Croatia which
is sometimes referred to as the Mother
Country of the necktie (which really makes me want to review my last
go-round at Epcot). The story goes that
a group of apparently well-dressed Croatians (I’m thinking Steve Martin and Dan
Aykroyd playing two wild and crazy guys
in the 1970s) went to Paris in 1635 to see King Louis XIII. The style-conscious Parisians were so
impressed by the colorful scarves worn by their visitors that they quickly went
to work borrowing the idea, wearing their own version of scarves ‘a la
croate’. This colorful piece of clothing
soon evolved into the cravat, and then somehow over time became the modern
necktie.
The point of the necktie remains a mystery. Succinctly pontificated by journalist Linda
Ellerbee, “If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by
tying a noose around your neck?” Yet
there is no shortage of historical information referencing the necktie. In ancient Rome, for instance, slaves serving
as accountants and even physicians were forced to wear something reminiscent of
a cloth tie around their necks in order to be easily identified by their
masters. Another belief, although
somewhat far-fetched, holds that a tie is worn in order to keep warm. Speaking from personal experience, I have
never once found myself in a situation that left me relying on my tie for
warmth, and if I ever do find myself in such a situation my assumption is that
I would have far greater problems. Others
believe that the necktie is simply worn to hide the buttons on a shirt. The purchase of a relatively expensive tie
and the detailed ritual of putting a tie on seem like an incredibly lopsided investment
just to cover up a few buttons. Besides,
if our civilization is technologically advanced enough to put a man on the
moon, it seems reasonable that we would have invented a collared dress shirt designed
without buttons by now, although modern science also remains puzzled by the
mystery of a cornflake that stays crispy in milk. Conversely, my old friend and comedy
collaborator, J. Max Sullivan (a name that always makes me think he should be a
department store instead of an actual person), was convinced that the tie was
simply an attention getting arrow,
which should make one eternally curious about the daily tie selections chosen
by Sigmund Freud.
A necktie is now the common norm. “I have very few memories of my dad without a
necktie,” says Scituate resident Martha Murphy.
“Was he going to church or work? The
man even made a three course meal in a necktie every Sunday.”
For years I adhered to the carefree style attempts of free
thinking pilot Brian Hackett from the 1990s television series Wings.
The more outlandish the tie, the more it appeared to actually match the
outfit making crazy tie choices a style all their own thus creating a
predictably bad, yet easily replicated fashion expectation. Not surprisingly, I have been accused many
times of getting dressed in the dark. I’ve
worn ties with giraffes, hot dog stands, trains, and John Lennon drawings. I’ve had ties that are striped, solid, plaid,
and tie-dyed. I even went through a
phase during which I would randomly borrow the ties of colleague Brian
Robinson, who made a thankfully convenient habit of keeping a large collection
of ties at work on a hanger behind his desk.
My favorite Robinson contribution was the tropical island tie; unquestionably tacky – yet just what I was
looking for.
This year, I have dropped the tie from my daily professional
repertoire. I was never one to tighten
my tie all the way to the top and incorporate the
correctly displayed Windsor knot in the first place, much to the chagrin of
some guys in my workplace who consider a properly worn tie to be the
cornerstone of professional attire. Besides,
my workplace now requires us to wear identification cards on colorful lanyards
around our necks which, to me, look and feel very much like a tie already.
And it is also convenient when we need to be identified by
our masters.
Jay Gillespie can be reached at
readjaygillespie.blogspot.com
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