THE PATH UP THE MOUNTAIN IS THE BEST PART This column originally appeared on Wicked Local.
Sometimes it is the journey that is most rewarding.
In 1983, my high school’s guidance department got their
hands on a computer that resembled the robot from Lost in Space. Every kid in
my grade was called down to choose a career that would be put into the computer
which would then spit out a conclusive report detailing why or why not this
career choice was appropriate. At the time, I had realistically veered away
from my dreams of playing for the Red Sox and although inspired to shoot for
the Navy’s Officer Candidate School in Newport I had yet to achieve required
success in any math class that required fractions. I showed up prepared and
offered a completely practical response: mailman. I had seriously considered
the idea. I had already worked as a paperboy so I felt like I had experience,
liked the idea of having a government job (already contemplating retirement at
the age of 15 in an Alex P. Keaton kind of way), and always wanted to drive one
of those little Jeeps. I even liked the idea of being outside and walking my
route, so if my position called for territory in the city I was on board. Instead,
I found myself influenced first by the disapproving face that my guidance
counselor made in response to my choice and then by the results of the computer
report. The dream was over. Years later,
I received accolades for independently paying for and earning degrees from
Northeastern University and Boston College, but I still think that if I had followed
my original plan I would now be closing in on retirement as the nation’s
Postmaster General.
I was doing stand-up comedy at Catch-a-Rising Star in
Harvard Square in my early twenties doing shows with the likes of Kevin Flynn,
David Cross, and Louis C.K. I even gained the attention of Steve Allen near the
waning days of his life who at one point sent me a letter of continued comedy encouragement
labeling me as, at least, a funny driver from his office in Beverly Hills. Already
feeling old, however, the prospect of traveling the country playing clubs in
places like Gun Barrel City, Texas to Weasel Creek, Idaho before hopefully
earning a few minutes on Carson seemed too far off in the distance. Instead, I
began to pursue a career as a history teacher, which I think of as a similar
job except that your act is geared toward a specific subject and the crowd is
not allowed to order drinks.
In 1999 I was invited to attend the Major League Baseball
Winter Meetings in Boston by a couple of upstarts from the Portland Sea Dogs
who were staying at the Marriott Copley Place where I was working as a doorman.
We talked baseball and they liked my vision (I had yet to wear glasses). They
offered me the chance of lifetime, an internship that would have me working in
an entry level position with the Sea Dogs (who were, at the time, a Florida
Marlins affiliate) that would set me up with a career in baseball. It was a paid internship but it would pay a
paltry $300 a month which I thought at the time was too much of a financial step
backward for someone approaching the ripe old age of 31. Despite the impressive
tour I was given of Hadlock Stadium in Portland that winter, I walked away from
the offer. If I had dared to take that leap at the time I am sure that I would
currently be working for Theo Epstein’s staff with the Chicago Cubs. Epstein and
I think alike including his habit of covertly leaving jobs while wearing a
gorilla suit, a move that I have been forced to utilize on more than one
occasion.
Looking back, I think I would have enjoyed life as a Major
League Baseball umpire although I’m sure that the so-called computer in 1983 would
have disagreed wholeheartedly. I would have saved countless dollars on Northeastern
and B.C. (although Boston College made lovely improvements to Alumni Stadium
with my hard-earned cash in 1994), been able to watch a lifetime of baseball
games with optimal seating, and work a job where (until recently) being right and
wrong makes very little difference. With the wisdom that I now possess as I
approach the age of 50, I think I would have actually enjoyed being mired in
the minor leagues doing games unceremoniously with the hope that I would
someday be working in the Major Leagues - even if I never got there.
Rather than your eventual destination, it is the path on the
way up the mountain that is often the best part.
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